The BL Nook

I woke up the next morning in bed, wearing only my boxers and a plain white T-shirt.
Did he change me?
I could hear the shower running. Josh was in the bathroom.

My head was pounding.
“Ugh, why did I drink so much…” I muttered, glancing around the nightstand for my phone.
Nothing.

I got up slowly and shuffled out of the room, checking the kitchen. Still nothing.
Eventually, I found it stuck between the cushions of the infamous $7,000 couch. It was six in the morning.
That’s when I remembered something:
I texted Diana last night.
Shit! What the hell did I say?

I scrolled through our messages, heart in my throat. There were only four messages, thank God.

‘Did she add a heart next to her name?’

Sean: <Heeey Diana, this is Sean. I had fun with you today, thanks for the kiss>
Diana ♥: <Hi Sean, Any time! 💋💋💋>
Sean: <LOL I’ll see you tomorrow!>
Diana ♥: <Yes, see ya tomorrow. Good night.>

I cringed.
“Thanks for the kiss”? Ugh, so embarrassing. I am never texting under the influence ever again.

What time did I even send those?
Right, around the time we were watching TV. Just before I-
Fuck.

Another memory from last night came flooding in. I glanced at the couch where Josh and I had been laying and covered my face.
“Ha…”

Josh walked out of the bedroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist, drying his hair with another.

“You’re up early, Mr. Three Bottles of Wine.”
“Stop. I’m not in the mood…”
“Haha. I’m making you a hangover smoothie, so make sure you drink it.”
“Thanks… Hey, did you change me last night?”
“Duh. You couldn’t do anything on your own. It was like taking care of a baby.”
“Did I… do anything stupid?”
“Not really. You just passed out on the couch. I carried you to bed and changed you.”

Is he pretending last night didn’t happen?
For my sake… or his?

“Okay, good. Sorry I got drunk.”
“Don’t be. I actually enjoyed seeing you like that while I was sober, at least. Go back to sleep. You’ve still got time before work.”
“Yeah, I should.”

I dragged myself back into bed and covered half my face with the blanket.
A few minutes later, Josh came in to get ready. I cracked my eyes open just in time to see his back as he stood at the end of the room.

He dropped his towel. I couldn’t look away.
His ass was round, firm, voluptuous. I got hard instantly.
I rubbed myself over my boxers, biting my lip.

Suddenly, he turned around. I slammed my eyes shut but cracked one open a second later.
He didn’t notice. He was just putting on boxers.

Now I could see everything. Damn… His trimmed pubes shaped into a triangle, his cock dangling freely. I can see it more clearly this time around.
Bigger than I remembered. Circumcised.
The tip was thick, a deep red-brown.

Does he think I’m asleep?

I took a mental snapshot, shut my eyes, and replayed the image as I slipped my hand inside my underwear and stroked myself slowly. I heard his footsteps approaching and froze.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead like he always does. But this time, the kiss was… wet. Leaving a trail of his saliva on me.

As soon as I heard the front door lock behind him, I wiped my forehead with two fingers and licked off the saliva he left behind. I stroked myself faster. I must still be drunk.

His naked body replayed again and again in my head.
“Ha… mmm…”
I almost came.

No. Think about something else.
Diana. Right. Think about Diana.

I forced myself to remember the kiss, her tiny waist under my hands, the way she grinded against me, our tongues locked together-
But Josh showed up. In my head. Behind her.

He grabbed her chin, kissed her, but stared right at me.

“Ha…”
I kept stroking.

Not again. Why does he always invade my fantasies?

I needed more.

I looked at Josh’s pillow, sat up, moved on top of it, and started thrusting into it.

“Ngh… ah…”
It felt like I was fucking his face.

“Ungh… ha… ha…”
Faster.

I imagined looking down at him, his beautiful eyes staring up at me, my dick in his mouth-
“Ha! Hnngh!… ha… fuck…”

I collapsed onto the pillow, chest heaving.

Then came the post-nut clarity.

I got up, scooped up the pillowcase, and made the walk of shame to the laundry room.
“I must be out of my goddamn mind.”

Back in the living room, I rubbed the back of my neck and looked up. I was facing the random door. I call it that because I’ve seen it for months but never asked Josh what’s behind it. I always assumed it was an office. But I’ve never seen him go in.

Curiosity got the better of me. I turned the knob. It wasn’t locked.

I opened it, my blood boiled. “That fucking bastard!”

There was a bed. A whole-ass bedroom.

I stomped over to grab my phone.

Sean: <You motherfucker, you had a spare room this whole time?!>
Sean: <There’s a fucking bed in there and everything!>
Sean: <I’m seriously going to kill you!!!>

He made me sleep next to him this whole time while there was an empty bed next door.

Josh: <Oh yeah, I do have a spare bedroom>
Josh: <Oops, I forgot 😕>
Sean: <Oops?! You forgot?! That’s your excuse?!>
Sean: <That’s it, I’m sleeping in there for the rest of the week.>
Josh: <Wait! I have a good explanation. Can we talk about it later when I get home?>
Sean: <Whatever.>
Josh: <Don’t be so mad lol. Do you hate sleeping in the same bed that much??>

I didn’t reply back.

Truth is, I don’t hate it. But sharing a bed with him is part of why I’m so damn confused.

We’ve been playing house; cooking dinner, talking about our days, watching TV on that overpriced couch, going to bed together. Repeat.

This needs to stop. I need space.

Shit, now I gotta get ready for work.

---

Work was uneventful.
I texted Diana at lunch to grab a bite, but she was swamped. So I went out alone.
I brought her something back anyway, dropped it off at her desk, and texted her a picture.

Sean: <I brought you back something just in case you didn’t eat.>
Diana ♥: <You’re so sweet, thank you! ♥♥♥ I’ll make sure to eat it.>
Sean: <You’re welcome 😊>

I didn’t see her again before I left. I was actually looking forward to it. At least we have a date on Friday.

On the way home, I stopped at the store to pick up stuff for dinner. I seriously contemplated buying rat poison and considered adding it to Josh’s food but I decided to hear him out first before I went to prison for murder.

I made shepherd’s pie. Something easy. Still didn’t feel great. I popped open a beer and slumped onto the expensive couch. Thought about pouring the beer all over it but my dad taught me not to waste perfectly good beer. 

Josh walked in.

“Should you be drinking again today?”

I didn’t answer. Just sipped.

He dropped his bag and crouched in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

“You still mad at me?”

I took another sip, meeting his gaze. Didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry… I never use that room. I honestly forget it exists. The first night you stayed over, I was drunk. I didn’t remember it. And after that… I just kept forgetting.”

“That’s the good excuse you had prepared?”
“It’s the truth.”
“Well…umph. It’s not good enough.”

I pushed his hands off me one by one, but he grabbed my hand and pressed it to his cheek.

“Please forgive me. You can sleep in there if you want. I just…”
He rubbed his face against my hand and gave me puppy eyes. His skin was cold, slowly warming under my palm.

God, he’s cute.

Still mad but I was enjoying this. I pulled my hand away and pushed him, making him fall on his butt.

“I already moved my stuff to the other room,” I said.

He sat there, watching me walk off. I pulled the shepherd’s pie from the oven to cool.

“If we’re done here, go get changed. Dinner’s ready.”

We ate in silence. He only spoke to thank me for the meal. His expression was serious. Brooding. He was sulking and I felt a little guilty.

Should I tell him I didn’t actually move my stuff? He really is a big baby… a muscular baby at that.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

My phone buzzed. It was Diana. I glanced at my phone but quickly shoved it back in my pocket. I didn’t want to text her while Josh was sitting next to me.

After dinner, we sat on opposite ends of the couch. On our phones, not saying a word to each other. I was finally able to text Diana back. We messaged about nothing important. Every ding from my phone, I glanced over at Josh. He didn’t seem to notice. Usually by now, he would be on my ass asking me who it was. 

In my last message, I told her I was going to bed and we’d talk tomorrow. I was about to get up to go to bed when Josh moved closer. He laid his head on my stomach.

My heart raced.

“We didn’t go to the gym today,” he said.
“Oh shit, I forgot it’s Wednesday. Why didn’t you remind me?”
“I thought you wouldn’t want to go. You were hungover and mad.”
“Haha. I guess you’re right.”
“Should we go tomorrow?”
“Yeah. The stuff I’ve been cooking isn’t exactly healthy.”
“But I like your cooking…”

He nuzzled into my stomach.

“Don’t you usually eat healthy during the week?”
“It’s fine. I can afford the calories. See?”

He sat up and flexed his abdomen. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“You’re dumb… Anyway, I’m going to bed.”
“…”

I stood up and looked back. He was just staring at me with his sad beautiful face. Almost whimpering like a scared puppy. ‘Ugh. Why do I keep falling for this?’

I held out my hand. “Come on, aren’t you coming with me?” I smiled.

He jumped up, turned off the TV, and took my hand. We made our way to the bedroom hand-in-hand. Every move I made he followed, refusing to leave my side as I walked around the room, until we finally headed to bed. I lay down first. He watched me the whole time. Once satisfied, he scooted next to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.

“Ack! It’s hot, move over!”
“No. I want to make sure you stay here.”
“I’m not going anywhere, so move.”
“You promise?”
“Yes, yes, I promise. So clingy.”

He finally moved back to his side. There was some rustling. ‘What the hell is he doing?’ I closed my eyes, ignoring him. Then he spoke up.

“…Huh? That’s weird… my pillowcase is gone.”

FUCK.