The BL Nook

The day started like usual. I woke up in a surprisingly good mood. Unlike yesterday, my energy had completely flipped. I don’t even remember if Josh kissed me goodbye this morning, but I’m sure he did. I must’ve been knocked out. I kinda wish I’d felt it, though. Work had barely started, and I’d already seen and talked to Diana a couple of times. I had a good feeling about today.

As the day rolled on, I focused on wrapping up my project, tomorrow’s my last day here. When lunchtime rolled around, I asked Diana to join me, and luckily, she wasn’t busy.

“What do you feel like eating?”
“Anything really, as long as I’m with you, hehe. You’re the one who invited me, so you choose.”
“Haha, but you know the area better than I do.”
“Okay, fine. There’s a pretty good Mexican place nearby.”
“Sounds good. I can’t eat too heavy or drink, I’m going to the gym later. Hope that’s okay.”
“Totally fine! We can save the heavy stuff for tomorrow.”
“Perfect.”

At the restaurant, we browsed the menu. I ordered a grilled chicken dish, swapped out the rice and beans for veggies. While we waited, Diana asked,

“So… how often do you go to the gym?”

“Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Although I skipped yesterday. I wasn’t feeling great.”

“Oh no! Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah, I was just… hungover. From the night before…” I said, kind of embarrassed.

“You got drunk on a weekday? Haha, did you go out or something?”

“Nah, I drank at home,” I said, covering my face with my hands.

“By yourself?!”

“God, no. I’m actually staying with a friend this week. You know that fancy building next to the office? With the huge lobby? He lives there. I told him I’d be crashing at his place to make the commute easier.”

Not that I asked him, I just told him. I knew it’d make him happy.

“Oh yeah! I’ve seen it in passing. He must be a good friend to let you stay the week.”

“He is. Honestly, he’s the best. He’s my gym buddy. My brother introduced us when I moved here from Minnesota. He showed me around, brought me to the gym, and now we hit the bars on Fridays. Without him, I’d probably be bored out of my mind.”

I could feel my face heating up.

“Haha, sounds like you two spend a lot of time together. What’s he like? Is he nice? Taken? Hot? Does he treat you well? Spill.”

The way she looked at me was a bit… sus, almost sly. It made me hesitate. She wasn’t asking because she was interested in Josh. Something else was behind it. Still, I answered. And once I started, I couldn’t stop.

“His name’s Josh. He’s… Ugh, he’s super annoying. Loud, extroverted, always smiling like an idiot. He flirts with everyone, touches your shoulder when he talks, and acts like it means nothing. And don’t even get me started on how stupidly good looking he is. He’s tall, muscular, probably made in a lab or something. But he’s not just some dumb gym rat, he’s the CFO of a startup. Um, I guess he’s very caring. He does these stupid things like making me breakfast every morning or skipping work because I said I felt sick. He made me soup. From scratch. Who even does that for their gym buddie? I’m jealous of his body, he has well defined muscles, like you couldn’t believe. But his face is the best part of him.  So good looking it should be illegal. On top of that, he has a great personality. I hate how much I like being around him. It irritates me that he makes me laugh even when I want to stay mad. He’s someone that you miss when he’s not around. He’s just… Confusing”

Oh no. What did I just say just now? I blacked out. 

I’d gone on too long. Diana had her chin resting on her hands, eyes locked on me with a knowing smile. Then she said it:

“I knew it! Haha, I fucking knew it!”

“What? What’s going on?”

“My gaydar never fails. You threw me off for a sec. I asked you on a date and you agreed, so I thought maybe it was off.”

My palms started sweating. Ears burning. Gaydar? She thinks I’m gay?! God, this was humiliating. Just then, the waiter brought our food, saving me from replying.

“Thank you! This looks amazing, right Sean?”

“Uh… y-yeah. Thanks.”

Once the waiter left, it was just us again.

“So… Diana. Why do you think I’m gay?”

“I mean… at the very least bi. It was just a feeling I had when we met. I can sense these things. I asked you to lunch that one time to test the waters, but you surprised me. You asked me if I was single and we even kissed! I thought maybe I was wrong, but when you talked about Josh just now? That confirmed it.”

“You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not gay. I’ve never even dated a guy. Well… I’m not against it. Ugh, what am I even saying?.”

I started shoving chicken in my mouth to shut myself up.

“Whoa, slow down. You’re gonna choke. Let me ask you this: do you ever think about Josh romantically? When you’re alone or… in the shower? Do you get butterflies when he does something sweet?”

I swallowed hard and took a big gulp of water. Then I finally said,

“Damn. You’re good.”

“Hehe, it’s a gift. You don’t need to date a bunch of men to be gay. You just found someone you really connect with and it just happens that he’s a man.”

“Yeah, maybe. We haven’t known each other that long, but it feels like we’re already beyond just friendship.”

“Do you think Josh is into you?”

“I don’t know. He acts like it sometimes. I notice things. But he’s never said anything. From what I’ve heard, he’s only dated women. He’s affectionate, but maybe he just sees me as a best friend. This week living together, it’s like we’re an old married couple.”

“That story about him leaving work to take care of you? Sounds like love to me. I wouldn’t have done that. Not even for a best friend.”

“Yeah… I don’t know.”

“You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think you two should just fuck.”

“Haha. You don’t think I’ve thought about that already? But he told me he’s done messing around. He wants something real. Said whoever he dates next has to be 100% sure about him.”

“Do you think he meant you?”

“Yeah, I think so. But right now, I’m just… confused.”

“Then don’t rush. Take your time.”

“It’s hard. I spend so much time with him. I wanted to hang out with you more to get space from him. I’m sorry… I kind of used you.”

“It’s fine. Use me if it helps you figure things out. But maybe you should tell him you want some time apart?”

“Are you kidding? He’d throw a fit. He’d nag me until I gave in. Who knows what he’d do.”

“Haha, sounds like he’s down bad for you.”

“You think so? Anyway… should we get the check?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Back at work, I felt lighter, like I’d been holding my breath and finally exhaled. I couldn’t believe I told Diana everything about Josh. I appreciated how cool she was about it, even offering to be a sounding board again. Tomorrow’s my last day, but I’m glad I had her to talk to.

---

That evening, I prepared a light dinner for after the gym and changed into a loose black tank top with some new shorts that, honestly, fit tighter than expected. I tossed on a backwards cap and was making our pre-workout shakes when Josh came home. He walked in smiling… until he saw me. He stopped in his tracks.

“You’re not seriously going like that, are you?”

“Why? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Your shorts are too tight. And too short. I can see your whole thigh.”

“Haha, okay crazy. So?”

His smile dropped. He wasn’t joking.

“Go change.”

“No. These are the only shorts I brought.”

“I’ll lend you workout pants.”

“They’re too big on me.”

“Then we’ll use the building’s gym. There’s fewer people at this hour.”

“Why are you being weird about my shorts?”

“……”

“Hello? You gonna tell me?”

He mumbled, “You’ll attract too much attention.”

Wait… Is he acting possessive? Holy shit. Diana was right. He’s down bad for me. This was too good. I have to tease him.

“Well, I’m going with or without you. Maybe I’ll find a girlfriend in these shorts.”

“There are mostly dudes at that gym.”

“In that case… maybe a boyfriend.”

“What?! The hell you will.”

He stormed over and buried his face in my shoulder.

“Sean… please change,” he mumbled, sulking.

“Nope. I’m leaving soon, so hurry up.I like these shorts. The material’s breathable, look.”

I grabbed his hand and slid it up my thigh, his fingertips brushing my skin. He turned, his mouth inches from my ear. I could feel his breath. My heart was pounding.

“Sean…”

His voice was thick with lust, sending a wave of chills down my spine. The good kind. My nipples tightened at the sound of it. He swallowed hard, his hand moving instinctively, fingers trailing up my thigh with a possessive grip. Not enough to hurt, but enough to say “this belongs to me.” That jolted me back to reality. I gently pushed him away.

“Let’s go before it gets late.”

He gave in, and we went to the regular gym. The whole time, his eyes never left me. When some guy tried to ask me about a machine, Josh swooped in, redirected him to a different one, and practically played gym concierge to get him away from me.

While we were there, I took the opportunity to snap a pic of Josh and sent it to Diana.

Diana ♥: <Holy shit, he’s so hot! 🔥🔥🔥>
Sean: <Haha I just wanted to show him off>
Diana ♥: <If I were a man, even I’d turn gay at the sight of him>
Sean: <Lmao now you see why I’m so confused?>
Diana ♥: <Clearly! Let me know if you guys ever want a threesome 😉>
Sean: <Sure thing>

She was joking. I think. But… a threesome might help clear things up?

After the gym, we showered, separately of course and sat down for dinner. Josh kept his eyes on his plate.

“Who were you texting earlier?” he asked.

“Oh… uh… a friend.”

“You don’t have other friends. You only have me.”

“I have friends at work now. Remember?”

“Then you should talk to them at work. What could you possibly be texting them about?”

He grabbed my phone off the table. Crap! I forgot I didn’t set a password.

“Hey! What are you doing?!”

“Relax, I won’t read your messages. Just want to see who you’re texting.”

“And why do you care?”

He didn’t answer. Just looked at the screen, then locked the phone and put it back.

“…Is Diana a work friend?”

“Yes.” Not a lie. She’s my friend now.

“Then why is there a heart next to her name?”

“Geez… You’ve been acting like a jealous boyfriend all day.”

“I just… want to know what you’re up to. Are you two dating?”

I paused. This might be my excuse to detach.

“We’re talking. We have a date tomorrow.”

“Did you ask her?”

“She asked me and I said yes.”

I waited for his reaction. I expected questions. Maybe even a sulk but instead, he just reached out, placed a hand on my shoulder, and gave me a warm smile.

“Good for you, man.”

“…Thanks.”

That’s it? Seriously? I couldn’t help the wave of disappointment that followed. Did he not care at all? Had I completely misread him? All the lingering touches, the playful flirting, the kiss on my forehead. What was that? Just some twisted joke to mess with my head?

What a bastard.

He toyed with my feelings, stirred up all this confusion, and for what? His own amusement? That fucker. That’s it, I really need space. I need to get away from him.

After dinner, we slipped into our usual routine, but I barely spoke. I was fuming, though I did my best to keep it under wraps. As he laid down beside me, peacefully getting ready to sleep, I glared at the ceiling, imagining a hundred ways to strangle him. I swore at him silently until the anger finally lulled me to sleep.