The BL Nook

Chapter 14: Josh’s POV Part II

It took two whole months after Sean moved here for Tyler to finally make the introduction. One day, he called out of nowhere and asked if he and Sean could come to the gym with me.

This is it. I was finally going to meet the guy I’d been jerking off to almost every night.

God, I hope he’s gay. I just want to fuck him once and get this out of my system.

They walked in. Sean looked serious, just like Tyler. No facial expressions at all. I introduced myself, cracked a few jokes, tried not to seem nervous. He was just as sexy in person. Maybe more. He chose a machine and got to work. I placed myself near the mirrors, conveniently in his line of sight, while Tyler blabbed about who knows what.

I noticed him staring at me a few times. Maybe he is gay?

We made eye contact right before Tyler said he was leaving.

Finally! Get out of here. I want to flirt with your brother.

Once Tyler was gone, I waited before walking over. I had the perfect excuse.

“I’m driving you home. It’s raining, and you’ll catch something if you walk.”

He looked nervous but agreed. In the car, he was tense at first. I tried to lighten the mood with small talk. He started warming up to me, laughed at my jokes, even called me a stalker a few times. He wasn’t wrong, I was a stalker.

I handed him the goodie bag I’d carefully prepared. I threw in some condoms as a gag. He wouldn’t be needing them… at least, not with me. I’d be the one doing the entering.

I got his number that day, told him we should work out together. We settled on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. After that, it just became routine. It all fell into place like fate.

Then came the night we slept in the same bed for the first time. That’s when I realized my feelings for Sean weren’t just about lust.

By then, I knew he wasn’t gay but I still tried to seduce him. I came up with some dumb excuse to get him in my bed, ignoring the very real, very empty guest room. Lucky for me, he didn’t notice. The day he finds out about that room… yikes. But I’ll think of something. Worst-case scenario, I’ll just turn on the charm and distract him with my cuteness.

That night, I felt him scoot closer in bed.

This is it, I thought. It’s happening.

But instead, he held my hand.

What the…?

His hand was cold. I think he just wanted to warm up. Still, it felt nice. His soft hand made my heart skip. I adjusted mine, intertwining our fingers.

I didn’t want to let go.

As time passed, my feelings for Sean kept growing. The more time we spent together, the deeper I fell.

The way he gets annoyed with me when I’m being dumb? Hot. The way he sleeps, the way he eats, talks, smiles? Adorable. Even when he was sick, he looked so freaking cute.

That day, I rushed out of work the second I heard he wasn’t feeling well. My assistant said, “You’re leaving now?! You’ve got a meeting in thirty minutes!” I didn’t care. I told him to cancel it. I brought my laptop to Sean’s place to work while he rested.

Calls kept coming in, everyone wanted me back. But I didn’t give a damn. I was happy being by Sean’s side.

That’s why it hurt so much when he left me the morning after.

That morning, something felt different. I swear he was doing things on purpose to get my attention. He left the bathroom door open while showering. Was that an invitation? I jumped out of bed and walked in like I owned the place. He was naked, scrubbing his body, water running down his skin. I told him I was just going to take a piss, testing the waters. His awkward expression made me second-guess everything.

Still, I couldn’t help it. Before I walked out, I paused and scanned his soapy, wet body. Damn… I wanted him so bad.

Then he did something else. He dropped his towel in front of me. Just stood there, bare-assed. That plump, voluminous butt… God, I wanted to take a bite.

He was trying to get my attention, right?

That was it. Today was the day. We were supposed to spend the whole day together, and I’d find the perfect moment to tell him how I felt. I was ready. If he let me, maybe we could do hand-stuff afterwards.

But then he chose work over me.

He canceled my plans, like it was nothing. I was angry, and I couldn’t hide it. I craved his undivided attention. It felt like he didn’t want me.

I cried on the drive home, furious and hurt. Had I misread everything? All those moments, all that closeness. Was it one-sided?

He texted me like nothing happened, but I wasn’t ready to forgive him. Not right away.

But it didn’t take long for my anger to melt away. The next day, he told me he’d be staying at my place for the whole week. Living together like we were lovers. I wanted to jump out of the car and dance, but I kept it together. I knew this was his way of making things up to me and it worked.

By Sunday, I was full-on nesting. I went grocery shopping, stocked up for his breakfast smoothies, bought him a toothbrush so he’d always have one here. I even cleared space in my closet. This was it. This week, I was going to confess everything.

Monday was perfect. We acted like a couple. He even cooked for me, and even though the food was terrible for my diabetes, I ate every bite. Because he made it.

But then Tuesday came. And something completely unexpected happened.

Sean got drunk.

Sweet little drunk Sean climbed on top of me while we were watching TV. I was minding my business when he crawled over and laid on top of me. God, it was like a dream come true, if only he wasn’t wasted. I begged my body not to react, but I got hard anyway. My cock twitched, and I was sweating like crazy. Luckily, Sean didn’t seem to notice. My dick was pressed against his lower abdomen, I wanted to rub against him so bad. But I didn’t. I had to control myself.

I wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but I stopped again. I was going insane. My heart pounding out of my chest. All I could do was caress his back and focus on the show until he fell asleep.

Once he was out, I gently lifted him off me and carried him to the bed. I changed his clothes carefully so I wouldn’t wake him and laid down next to him. I usually sleep on my stomach, but that night I stayed on my side to keep an eye on him, just in case he threw up on himself.

I fell asleep.

Later, I felt the bed shift. Tossing and turning, I figured. But then I heard panting. 

“Ha… Ngh… ha…”

It was Sean. I opened my eyes and turned my head. He was sitting up, biting his shirt, eyes glassy, brows furrowed. He looked so turned on. His hand moved quickly.

“…mmm… Ha… Ha…”

He was masturbating.

Holy shit.

He saw me looking but didn’t stop. Maybe he was still drunk. I didn’t know what to do.

“Sean… do you need help with that?”

“Ha… Hah… J-Just take off your boxers…”

I slowly pulled them down. My cock flicked out, already hard and dripping precum. As soon as I did, he stroked himself faster, moaning my name.

“J-Josh… Josh… Ha… ha… Ngh! Fuck…”

He came all over his hand and the bed, then collapsed back, panting. He passed out just like that, his dick out, cum on his hand. A beautiful mess.

I quickly went to the bathroom, mind reeling, and masturbated furiously.

After I came, I cleaned him up, wiped the bed, pulled his pants back up. But not before sneaking one last peek at his soft cock. I swear, he’s trying to drive me insane.

The next morning, he asked if he did anything stupid. I denied it all. That moment… I wanted it just for me.

I walked naked in front of him, testing the waters. He pretended to sleep, but I felt his eyes on me. Watching. Always watching.

Thursday came. I was already annoyed because he refused to change his slutty little shorts. I couldn’t stand the idea of other people seeing his perfect thighs. We had an intimate moment, he let me touch his thigh for the first time. He initiated it, so I had to take advantage. His delicious thigh in the palm of my hand. If he hadn’t stopped me then, I would’ve lost all control.

I kept my eyes glued to him the entire time at the gym, just in case some creep with a thigh fetish decided to shoot their shot. But something else caught my attention. He was glued to his phone the whole time, smiling, even laughing. Who the hell was he texting like that?

By dinner, I couldn’t take it anymore. I snatched his phone like a jealous boyfriend who’d had enough. Scrolled through with zero shame. And there it was, her name.

Diana ♥.

Really? Diana? With a heart?

I asked for an explanation, but he wouldn’t tell me anything other than they were going on a date. He was going on a date with her? I wanted to beg him not to. I wanted to confess everything to keep him from going. But what if he left and never came back? So I said the only thing I could think of.

“Good for you, man.”

Good for you?! No! Not good! I should’ve told him how I felt. Now I have to act like I don’t care, when I care more than anything.

Friday was hell. I couldn’t focus at work. Everyone kept asking if I was okay. No, I wasn’t okay. The love of my life was out with someone else.

I looked her up. Diana. And damn… she’s hot. She’s like the female version of me. Maybe this proves it. Maybe Sean likes me and is using her to just confirm his feelings.

Maybe this date will help him realize he wants me.

I held onto that hope.

When I got home, the smoothie I made him was still untouched. Did he forget it? The apartment felt so empty without him. I checked his location nonstop, drank whiskey, and ate a sad dinner alone.

I texted him. Again. And again.

No reply.

His location showed they were at the Space Needle. I had planned to take him there. It was supposed to be our special date.

Then, his text came. <“Fuck off.”> Ouch.

My heart shattered. He didn’t want to talk to me. He made it very clear. Heartbroken, I looked through Diana’s social media and saw it.

“Enjoying a night on the town with my new boyfriend.”

I dropped my phone and sobbed. I missed my chance. I cried myself to sleep on the couch unintentionally. When I woke up, it was 1 a.m. and he still wasn’t home. His location was in a residential area. Her house?

I grabbed my emergency cigarettes, whiskey, and went to the balcony. Chain-smoked all night, sipping from the bottle, drowning in my heartbreak.

Eventually, I must’ve passed out again, because Sean woke me up.

He was home.

This was it.

I couldn’t let him go again. He said he’s not dating her so-

“Sean… go on a date with me.”

If he hated the idea, I’d stop. I’d try to move on. But I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I’m grasping for any tiny hint of hope. 

“…I like you, Sean. I like you so much I thought I would die of jealousy today.”

He didn’t respond. Not with words. But that silence said enough, he was thinking about it. And that was all I needed. He saw me. Maybe not fully, but enough.

The next morning, when I woke up, I thought he was gone. But he was just in the bathroom brushing his teeth. I came up behind him and hugged him.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night.”

“D-Do you even remember what you said to me?”

“I do… did you think about it?”

“I did… but I still need more time.”

“Take all the time you need. A day or two, right?”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

Then he turned to me, gently caressed my hair.

“I won’t be seeing you for two weeks.”

“What?! Why?”

“That’s the time I need. Two weeks.”

“Umph. Fine… Can I still text you? Call?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need space. I need to be sure. Weren’t you the one who said you wanted someone to choose you fully before being intimate? I’m not sure if I’m there yet.”

“Okay… I’ll go crazy missing you, though. Can I ask one favor?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t sleep with anyone else. At least for these two weeks.”

“I told you, I didn’t sleep with Diana. But fine, I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

I took his hand, kissed his palm. And that was it.

He grabbed his things, and left.

I’m back to being alone.

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