Chapter 23: Jealous Of Myself
Before we knew it, one month had flown by. Our routine had become second nature. We see each other almost every day, and on the rare days we don’t, we text or call nonstop. Josh even changed my diet, and honestly, I’ve never felt better. My stamina is insane lately. And sex? We go at it like bunnies.
Sometimes all it takes is a look. Just freaking eye contact and we’re all over each other like it’s the first time. There isn’t a single place in Josh’s apartment we haven’t defiled. I’m talking shower, kitchen counter, the infamous $7,000 couch, spare bedroom, the damn floor, the dining table, hallway, even the laundry room. He rails me like it’s a race against time, and I eat up every minute of it.
Sometimes I think I’m addicted. Sure, Josh initiates his fair share. He’ll start cuddling, sneak his hands up my shirt, give me that look, and boom. But most of the time, it’s me. If we lived together, I swear I’d never keep my hands off him. It’s wild, because I’ve never wanted someone like this before. With my ex-girlfriends, twice a week was plenty. But Josh? I’m like a sex-crazed maniac. He’s awakened some primal part of me. I’ve hit my peak of sexual desire and then some.
We spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve together. I didn’t go back to Minnesota to see my dad. I heard from Josh that Tyler did. Josh begged me to stay for the holidays, and I caved. He didn’t visit his family either because, in his words, “we spend every waking moment together, but I want this one to be special.” So we picked out a tree and decorated it. He baked cookies, made themed cocktails, and blasted Christmas music. Super cringey. I nearly gagged. But the excitement on his face? Couldn’t say no. That look alone made the whole thing worth it.
For New Year’s Eve, we got invited to a bunch of parties but stayed in. Just the two of us, drinking until we were properly wasted. We watched the countdown on TV, kissed at midnight and that quickly turned into a hot-and-heavy makeout sesh that ended, unsurprisingly, with us naked and tangled together. We basically had a sex marathon for a week straight. Clothes were banned. The apartment became a nudist colony with only two residents.
Honestly, this last month has been unreal. Josh spoils me like I’m his prized possession. The small arguments we have? They always spiral into something else. One of the more memorable ones was when I realized he had blocked Diana on my phone. I’d been wondering why I hadn’t heard from her, so I shot her a message. But it kept bouncing. Weird. I checked my settings, and lo and behold. Blocked. But I knew I didn’t do it. So I walked into the kitchen while Josh was cooking and asked straight-up:
“Hey, did you get into my phone and block Diana?”
He turned slowly, a smug look spreading across his face like a guilty puppy.
“Hehe.”
“You… You seriously need help!”
We argued for maybe five minutes before one thing led to another and we were devouring each other. Clothes were ripped off, tongues everywhere, biting, sucking, hair-pulling. We banged in the kitchen. He bent me over the counter, he gripped the back of my neck like he owned me. He fucked me so hard I forgot I was even mad in the first place.
His jealous antics drive me crazy but I can’t lie, the possessiveness turns me on.
Today was like any other. We came back from the gym, sweaty and high on endorphins. I gave him my most seductive smirk.
“Wanna take a shower together?”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t say no to that…”
We hopped in and started “washing” each other. I kissed down his neck and chest, but he felt… different. A little stiff. Emotionally, not physically. I knelt and took him in my mouth. I’m still not the best at it, but I try my damn hardest for Josh. When I looked up, his expression was blank. Then, without a word, he pulled me up, spun me around, and shoved two fingers in me, then four. When I was ready, he slammed into me with one hard thrust. He pounded me like he was pissed. No tenderness, just punishment?
After the first round, I was panting, still needy. “Only one round? C’mon, let’s go again.”
He shook his head. “Once is enough.”
What the- Is he getting bored of me already? After all he did to get me to go out with him? I knew this would happen. He made me fall madly in love with him and now he’s doing this to me?! I can’t fucking belive this.
I grabbed a towel and stormed out of the shower, angry and confused. Josh followed me with a weird look on his face.
“What the fuck?” I snapped. “Are you getting tired of me?”
“No, that’s not it.” He was pouting.
“Then what the hell’s going on? Is sex with me not satisfying anymore?”
He flinched, then finally muttered, “Lately… I feel like you like my dick more than you like me.”
I blinked. Then I lost it, laughing until my stomach hurt.
“Stop laughing! I’m serious!”
“Haha but isn’t your dick part of you?”
“All you want to do is have sex all the time. The sex is amazing, I’ll give you that, but I want more. More quality time, I want to go on dates, cuddle on the couch without it turning into foreplay.”
“Josh… sex is how I express my love for you. That is quality time.”
“Well I want a different kind of quality time. I want more. If this is going to be the case then… I’m cutting you off.”
“Cutting me off from what, exactly?”
“No more dick for you. This shop is closed. Out of business!”
NOOOOOOO, he can’t be serious. Internally I was screaming, but I kept a serious face. This couldn’t last. He’d cave. I gave it three days tops. I was determined to break him.
Except… Two weeks passed. Dry city. My poor hole probably reset itself.
We did normal couple things. Movies, fancy dinners, shopping, cuddling. Fucking torture. Not that I didn’t try. I upped my thirst traps. Sent shirtless pics with my meal updates. Wore the shortest gym shorts ever. “Accidentally” dropped things every ten minutes and brushed against his crotch.
Nothing.
It was madness.
I was losing my damn mind from how horny I’d become. At work, I overheard a few of the girls gossiping about lingerie and uncomfortable thongs. Wildly inappropriate for the office, I almost emailed HR. But it sparked an idea. After work, I marched straight into the lingerie store near my apartment, shameless and determined. This whole “No more dick for you” phase? It ends now.
I found myself standing in front of a wall covered in lacy, barely-there thongs. Can these even hold my dick? All of the sudden, a voice purred behind me.
“Looking for something… special?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Um… need thong,” I blurted.
She smiled. “For your girlfriend?”
Fuck. What do I even say now? Should I admit it’s for me? God, I might die of embarrassment. Hold on… She’s a complete stranger, and the store’s practically empty. No judging eyes, no familiar faces. Maybe this is my chance. A warm-up for the bigger truth. If I can tell her this, maybe I can finally say it out loud…
“To be honest, it’s for me. My boyfriend’s mad at me and I need to fix that.”
“Oh! Well, you’re in the wrong section. Let’s get you something that fits you.”
She picked out a lacy red one, and said it would look amazing on my skin. Honestly, it felt good to be open like that. Dare I say. Liberating.
The day finally came. We were sitting on his absurdly expensive couch, watching TV in complete silence. I’ had dressed for battle. Tiny athletic shorts with the thong hiked high on my hips, and the shortest shirt I owned, the kind that rides up if I so much as breathe too deep. Every move was strategic. The plan was in motion, but my heart was racing.
We sat side by side, upright, the tension thick between us. I leaned forward to set my drink on the coffee table, lifting my ass slightly off the couch. The moment the waistband of the thong peeked out.
Josh’s voice cut through the silence. Almost instantly.
“What the hell is that?”
“What?” I asked innocently.
He stared. “W-What are you wearing?”
“Oh this?” I stood and lifted my shirt slowly. “It’s a thong.”
His eyes widened, mouth slightly open. “Take off your shorts. I want to see.”
I stripped nervously. His jaw clenched, veins popped in his neck. He yanked me close, face buried in my crotch, licking over the fabric. Then he spun me around, biting my ass, leaving hickeys everywhere.
“Ha… Sean,” he whispered.
“Do you like it?” I eagerly asked, knowing the answer.
He grabbed me and threw me face-down onto the couch. I barely had time to react before he freed that massive cock of his and pressed it right between the laced fabric of the thong. I practically salivated from the anticipation alone.
“Do I like it?”
He growled. “Mmph… I’m about to show you how much I like it. Now lift your ass up.”
With a slow drag of his thumb, he slid the thong to the side and buried his face between my cheeks. “Ah, what are you doing?” My whole body jolted. His tongue swirled around with reckless intent, sending lightning bolts of pleasure straight up my spine. I wasn’t prepared for how good it would feel, embarrassingly good. When he shoved his tongue in, I completely lost it. I was moaning his name, panting, trembling, grinding against his face for more. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Ha! Josh… ngh… ha… Please… fuck me already…”
He growled low and lifted me up, crushing our bodies together as he bit into my shoulder.
“You’re driving me fucking insane.”
He spun me around and bent me over the couch, facing the wall. “Stay like this. Don’t move. I’ll grab the lube.”
He was back in a second. No hesitation. He slicked himself and rammed into me like a man possessed. One hand yanked the thong taut while the other pinned me by the neck. The sound of skin slapping echoed around the room, drowned only by my filthy moans and begging cries.
He didn’t stop. Not until I was limp and shaking. I must have passed out of pleasure because somehow, we ended up in the bedroom. By round whatever, we were a sweaty mess, spent, and completely satisfied..
I couldn’t help but think that I won as I lay breathless beside him, I turned to him.
“Hey Josh,” I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. “I love you, okay? I’ve never wanted anyone like this before. The sex is incredible because it’s you. It’s not just your dick, it’s you I want. All of you.”
He kissed me. “I get it. I love you too. More than you could ever imagine.”
The BL Nook 
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